Motivation Type

In Daniel Pink's book Drive he talks about how there are two types of behavior that we draw inspiration from and how each person has a dominant motivation type. The first motivation type is Type X Behavior. This behavior type is driven mainly be external variables, such as rewards or recognition. The second motivation type is Type I Behavior, or Intrinsic Motivation. This motivation comes from a self-motivation to better one's self. Type I Behavior is the healthier and more positive behavior.

That being said, after taking the Drive Survey, I was diagnosed with Type X Behavior.

Which really did surprise me. I never really considered myself to be driven by rewards or recognition, but now when I look at myself I think I agree. But not in the sense that I do things mainly to profit off of them, but because the external factors I'm reacting to are more authentic. I think I do things because I want to influence people and make them happy because it gives me some personal satisfaction knowing that I have the ability to do that.
Or maybe I'm just in denial still and trying to romanticize my Type X Doom Sentence?

Well I watched the video and it took me a long time to come up with my statement, but here it is:

"Skyler was a very confused person surrounded by expectation, but didn't really want any of it."

That doesn't really paint me in a positive light but I can explain myself. I am confused, and people tell me everyday what I could be and how much money I could make if I was: a doctor, a politician, etc. Well the truth is I don't really want any of that. I do want fame--I'm not really ashamed of that--but only so I can influence more people. I think the more people that look at me and say to themselves "Hey, look at that kid. He's got it figured out. I'm going to be more like him." even though I don't really have it figured out at all, the more I can feel better about myself.
I guess that's sort of good and bad.

As for my mentor, I think I'd put him in the Type X Behavior category as well. But not in such an esteeming light that I tried to shroud some of my flaws in. I don't think my mentor really does his job for his own personal satisfaction either, neither do I think he takes on the production of other artists for his own personal satisfaction. Of course he loves what he does, he's very good at what he does, and he has his own personal side projects, but coming from some experiences and the atmosphere when I'm talking to him, I think he's more dominantly driven by external factors.

A good example of when I was motivated was when I finally landed my first gig. It took me almost an entire month to land one and when I did (on Thanksgiving in fact) I was suddenly hit with all of this anxiety. I didn't know enough songs to cover an two hours, I had a pretty lackluster voice, and I didn't have enough of my own material written that I was actually pleased with. So starting two weeks before my gig I did nonstop vocal exercises, I sang all of the time, I stayed up very late writing songs.
And then I lost my voice from overworking it; 3 days before my gig.
Long story short: I drank a bunch of hot tea and honey and sucked on a lot of cough drops and tried to perform bizarre paegan rituals that would restore my voice to normal.
Well one of those worked and I got my voice back, but it was the most prominent time in my memory that I worked vigorously to do something I loved.

5

These are the lyrics to a song I wrote a couple of days ago :)

Today
I'm gonna be
A superstar for you
Please stay
You'll want to see
All the things I did to me
To catch a gaze from you

Today
I'm gonna be
Immaculate for you
Behave
Why can't you be?
Why is this needed to be free?
Can't you see this migraine's melting?

And falling out of head--it's coming, and coming
And leaking out of my ear--it gets so hard to
Refrain from the pressure that builds and bullys
The television in my brain

Today
I'm gonna be
Magnetic for you
All the bridges burning down is just a
symptom of the sound that pigeons
make when they're compressed

The kids are coming undressed
So they can be like the best
And all around them are fancy faces
Sporting flesh-colored vests
With it preparing to pour
And it beginning to shine forever
Tomorrow's just a good guess
For troubles waiting to bloom